How to put together your guest list

Putting your wedding list together is an important part of the wedding planning, but it can also be a source of stress. It really shouldn't be. Here are six simple steps to getting through this process with a smile:

1. Decide on a budget and number of guests
2. Write a preliminary list
3. Organize your list
4. Hunt for information
5. Weed out the absolutes
6. Get a final count

1. Decide on your budget and number of guests.

Unless you have an unlimited budget, all wedding decisions will probably stem from this very first choice. If you have this one down, move to the next step! If you haven't decided on your budget, you will have to do this beforehand, so get your spouse (and/or anyone else paying for the event), a calculator, and decide on a budget. This is a decision that must be made from the start (try to stick to it!).  Once your wedding banquet budget makes sense in relationship to all other expenses, you can decide on a number of guests. Call a few of the wedding venues and you've been thinking of and get a few price estimates. Think of how much money per guest you are willing/able to spend. And finally, decide how many people you wish to invite. Decide what percentage or number of invitees other people (your future spouse, your parents and/or future parents in law, for example) will be able to invite, and communicate that decision to them. About 25% of your invitees will decline.

2. Write a preliminary list

Open Excel, save the blank document as "Wedding Invitee List" (or download my template if you rather not do the editing in step 3) and get to work! Label column C "Invitees" and brainstorm -don't worry about anything else right now. It doesn't even matter if you're not very proficient with Office (I'll keep it super simple). Just make sure everyone you want to invite is on your list. Use one line per invitation: include all members of the Robinson family, for example, in one line. This will keep your list visually concise and easy to manage. Unless you enjoy it, leave the editing for later -the important thing is to get you started.

You should also ask your fiancee for his list. Ask him to include addresses to save yourself some address hunting time! If your fiancee's strongest point is not organization, it helps to give him a reasonable and friendly due date and follow up with him.

3. Organize and edit your list

Start out by giving your list a little face-lift. You can add a few useful columns (and fill them in as you are able): a column to help you tally up the number of possible guests and invitations, a column for addresses, and a column for RSVPs. You can also edit the first column to differentiate your invitees from your husband's invitees, your parents' and his parents' invitees. This will help you check and balance the number of people that each of you invites. Finally, add a Total under each section so that you can consult your numbers as RSVPs and other data reaches you (use the autosum feature). If your venue is charging you per plate, you can also get an approximate total cost for your wedding banquet (don't forget to include yourself and your spouse if you do this).

4. The information hunt

Once you are done organizing your guest list, it is time to hunt for all the necessary info. Get your fiancee's list (and anybody elses' who has one). Find out the correct spelling and titles for all your invitees. Here is a link to my favorite addressing etiquette for your convenience. Before you call people to ask about spelling or for their address, check your list for nicknames (you want to find out their real name) and for any guest names you may be missing (like their children or significant others). If you are including an inner envelope in your invitation, this will save you more than one email or call -and a whole lot of time!
If your fiancee or other member(s) of your family are helping you with this, try posting your guest list on GMail's document sharing system (or any other similar web resource), so you can all add information to the same document.

5. Weed out the absolutes

You probably have an idea of who your absolutes are.  Your absolutes are people who absolutely will or will not come. Maybe Aunt Louise's doctor told her to stop traveling because of her age. And your BFF Anna would not miss your wedding if it was her last day on Earth. Fill in those numbers under the "Total possible guests" column. This will give you an approximate minimum number of people you should be ready and able to seat at your wedding. The RSVP column will give you a confirmed number, but you will have to wait till your planning time is mostly over for that information, and it's useful to have a number early on.

6. Get a final count.

You have done most of the work! Now it's time to make sure you have your numbers right. Decide whether or not to send out an invitation to the "absolute not"s and eliminate any people you cannot afford to invite. Make sure your final count makes you and your loved ones happy and comfortable, even if it means making a couple tough decisions. Above all, remember to enjoy the process. You only get to do this once ;) !